1,000 Greatest Drivers: Paul Morris
Before Logano, there was LoGaMo.
There are now 15 rooms with COVID in my mom’s wing of the nursing home. She got over it about a week ago, but there were no cases on the wing until hers and the head nurse told me she thought I brought it to her. I was sick the week before with a virus, but as I said, it wasn’t too bad and it didn’t feel like COVID to me (especially since I was knocked out substantially more in November), and I certainly stayed home on the days I felt sick and I didn’t feel sick the last day I saw her before that. However, she was diagnosed with COVID about a week later so it’s possible I caught it on the bus or something. I’m not necessarily convinced I infected everyone because they have a running list of which wings have COVID at the front entrance and I remember there were other floors that had it the preceding weeks, so I think it’s just as likely one of the nurses or staff from another floor brought it there, but I will never have proof that it wasn’t me, and like I said, when I tried to administer the test to determine whether I had it, it failed. Very saddening. I just hope nobody dies. I’ve had my N95 mask on at least whenever I’m walking in the halls. Not always when I’m in the room with her, and they haven’t told me to stop seeing her.
I’m still playing phone tag with the person at Onondaga County Community Development who will be assigning a contractor to facilitate a ramp construction and roof repair so hopefully Mom can come home. I need to sign something and we keep missing each other. The roof repair had to be done before we lose our homeownr’s insurance at the end of the month and I don’t know whether that will happen. I ended up canceling an appointment for a followup for my colonoscopy since I didn’t think I needed it and I also think I’m probably uninsured right now. I did see the counselor at the church for the first time yesterday and almost got out my complete life story in an hour. I’m going to come back for four main reasons: to try to get Mom out of the nursing home, to try to overcome my eating disorder, to reconnect with people socially (it was getting really pathetic a couple months ago when I was genuinely enjoying talking to ChatGPT more than even most people online lately because at least when talking to me, it at least doesn’t do the edgy Internet speak that I so despise - I’ll take an abundance of em-dashes and hallucinations over any number of “rest in piss” or “fuck your feelings”), and to regain my focus and motivation. Even now that I am more employable, I am still really dragging and shiftless and struggling to focus. I’ve basically lost interest in almost everything except visiting Mom and the Substack although I’m continuing to plug away at my work also, and I yearn to be happy again for like the first time in a quarter-century.
I also washed one of the afghans my mom made (I believe it was her Honorable Mention prize-winning one from the 1996 New York State Fair) after our cat barfed on it and because I had another blanket in the washer, the afghan ended up getting stuck and wrapped around the inner wall, so a portion of it is stuck between the inner wall and the outer wall of the washer and I’ve been unable to get it out, and obviously, I don’t want to destroy such an important heirloom (one of my mom’s rare possessions that I’m definitely going to keep after she dies), so this has been stressing me out too. This is literally like some kind of sitcom plot. I am not doing well, but at least I got this done…
PAUL MORRIS………………AUSTRALIA
Born: December 22, 1967
Best year: 2000
Best drive: 2001 V8 Supercar Calder Park Race #2
Morris dominated the Australian Super Touring Championship in an era when Australia had two major touring car series. Since the ASTC wasn’t as competitive as the Australian Touring Car Championship (which later became Supercars) and it eventually folded, most of the Super Touring drivers did not have the legacy they should have. His father Terry, the founder of Sirromet Winery, joined Bathurst 1000 winner Tony Longhurst and three-time British Saloon Car Champion Frank Gardner as the third owner of LoGaMo Racing, where Paul got his start.
Although LoGaMo’s cars could no longer compete in the ATCC by the time of Morris’s breakout in 1994, they swept all twelve races in what became the ASTC, with Longhurst and Morris winning six each, although Longhurst narrowly won the title. Longhurst punched Morris in the head after Morris wrecked them both at Winton, although a red flag handed Morris the win while Longhurst was disqualified. Needless to say, their partnership fizzled out. Longhurst left LoGaMo in 1995 while Gardner and Morris remained in the ASTC, where Morris was joined by Geoff Brabham, fresh off four consecutive IMSA titles. Morris was the undisputed team leader, winning the 1995 and 1997 titles and beating Brabham 18-9 in wins and 29-21 in finishes. Morris and Craig Baird won the 1997 Super Touring Bathurst 1000 on track but were disqualified because Baird exceeded his drive time limit.
Gardner subsequently retired while Morris switched to Indy Lights for 1998. Although he struggled mildly, he gained his nickname “The Dude” upon returning to Australia after developing a habit of calling everyone dudes in America. Now a sole owner-driver, he won back-to-back ASTC titles, finishing his career with 49 wins. In 2000, he won 16 of 17 races despite breaking several vertebrae in a Supercars crash at Oran Park, yet he missed no races in either series. Afterward, he committed exclusively to Supercars, winning the last two races of the 2001 Calder Park round flag-to-flag. However, his cars were seldom competitive and his team never won again. Nonetheless, he became the first driver to win the three most important Bathurst races (the 1000, 12 Hour, and 6 Hour) afterward. His teammates usually played a bigger role in those races, so I find this accomplishment overrated. Later, he pivoted to Robby Gordon’s Stadium Super Trucks and won two titles. He also bought the Norwell Motorplex training track from Gardner to create the Paul Morris Racing Academy, which has already developed Supercars superstars Brodie Kostecki and Broc Feeney.
Morris is now universally respected by Australian racing fans, but it took a while as he had a reputation for dirty driving that he willingly embraced. His gruff exterior, take no prisoners attitude, and brash interview style was arguably as calculated as Dale Earnhardt’s. However, his status as both a talent scout and an elder statesman who would race anything made him an icon for up-and-coming Australian drivers. Although I find his Bathurst record very overrated, the rest of his career is very underrated.
Touring car model: #709 of 1676 (-.018)
Teammate head-to-heads: 186-169 (6-1 vs. Craig Baird, 19-0 vs. John Blanchard, 1-0 vs. Tim Blanchard, 0-1 vs. John Bowe, 29-21 vs. Geoff Brabham, 13-5 vs. Fabian Coulthard, 2-2 vs. Tony D’Alberto, 0-7 vs. Alex Davison, 6-1 vs. Steven Ellery, 1-0 vs. Dean Fiore, 11-0 vs. Geoff Full, 7-1 vs. Bryce Fullwood, 9-1 vs. Renee Gracie, 6-3 vs. Alan Gurr, 1-0 vs. Matt Halliday, 7-24 vs. Russell Ingall, 4-4 vs. Garry Jacobson, 2-14 vs. Alan Jones, 8-2 vs. Owen Kelly, 16-48 vs. Tony Longhurst, 0-2 vs. Craig Lowndes, 0-2 vs. Cameron McConville, 1-0 vs. Andy McElrea, 1-1 vs. Greg Murphy, 1-0 vs. Matt Neal, 1-0 vs. Sam Newman, 11-3 vs. Charlie O’Brien, 2-2 vs. Steve Owen, 2-4 vs. Jack Perkins, 1-0 vs. Chris Pither, 3-2 vs. Shane Price, 1-0 vs. Brett Riley, 5-5 vs. Aaren Russell, 1-2 vs. Drew Russell, 1-0 vs. Boris Said, 1-0 vs. Kayne Scott, 1-0 vs. Scott Shearman, 0-1 vs. Allan Simonsen, 3-0 vs. John Teulan, 0-7 vs. Shane van Gisbergen, 0-1 vs. Tom Waring, 2-2 vs. Mark Winterbottom)
Year-by-year: 1993: C-, 1994: C+, 1995: E-, 1996: C+, 1997: E-, 1999: E, 2000: E, 2001: C, 2007: C-